Finding Balance in all that We are Doing Inside and Outside of our Homes
Updated: Dec 31, 2018
B a L a N c E.
How do we achieve it? It is certainly a constant struggle. And we can begin to feel quite miserable when we are out of balance for any length of time. Have you ever had way too much on your plate and felt completely overwhelmed? I have and I remember thinking, “I need to change something. I can’t keep going like this!” However, when I took a hard look at everything that I was doing, there didn’t seem to be anything that I could let go of. It ALL seemed very important. One thing was for sure though. I had to learn how to say the word no. And from that day forward I started practicing.
“No, I’m sorry. I will not be able to do that.”
“No. I am afraid I can’t make it.”
“No. Thank you for thinking of me, but I really cannot take anything else on right now.”
It felt good. I began to take back the hours of my life. Priorities became clearer and clearer. I was happier. My husband was happier. Everyone in my household was happier.
As women, we wear so many different hats. We do it all. And often we find that we are over extended, overburdened, and overwhelmed. Our greatest challenge sometimes seems to be finding a way to balance it all. In the midst of the balancing act, our families tend to get the worst of us, rather than the best of us. By the time we get home from our endless responsibilities and activities, we are played out. There is not much left of ourselves to give!
Women today are gifted, talented, sharp and intelligent. We have a lot to offer. We are the masters of multi-tasking and we know how to get it done! We are amazing women who are accomplishing all kinds of things in our homes and outside of our homes. The truth is, however, that our first and best work should be done within our own homes: the best of our time, the best of our energy, the best of our creativity and resourcefulness, and the best of our love. We may all be very busy women, but our chief usefulness and our first calling really is within the building of our own homes.
Psalm 128:3 says, “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house…”
In my book, The Path to Becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife, I talk a lot about the many different aspects of our role as wives. One very important aspect of this role is that of being a home builder. We are the builders of our homes. What an important assignment we have been given! We tend to be the very ones that set the atmosphere in our homes. We want our homes to truly be a haven. And when instead they are a place of grouchy people and lots of stress, it’s an indication that something needs to change! And if we want happy, healthy marriages and homes, then our husbands need to know that they are a priority. Does your husband know that he is your priority or has he gotten lost in the shuffle?
The King James version of Psalm 128:3 uses the words, “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house.” This creates some beautiful imagery. In the East, it was a common custom of Jews to train a vine along the sides of a house. It actually had its roots within the house, but it would grow and spread along the sides of the house. This kind of vine would cleave to the side of the house and would bear fruit. It was pliable and grew where it was directed. There, on the side of the house, it grew, it thrives, and it flourished.
There were a number of purposes for training a vine to grow and spread along the sides of the house. The vine would provide shade and comfort from the heat. It would also let in winter sunlight and warmth. It could protect and defend the house against the forces of winds, rain, and even thieves. The vine had good exposure for fruit right where it was planted. It was also an ornament, beautifying the home.
Like the illustration of the fruitful, twining vine along the side of the house, a wife is called alongside her husband. She cleaves to him. He is her support. They are intertwined together as one and move forward in life together. She is also an individual with her own thoughts, feelings, desires, and interests, but her roots always remain within her home. As she walks in her role as his wife, she grows and bears fruit. Not only does she bear children who are like olive shoots around the table, but everything she puts her hands and heart to bears good fruit.
There are times when we must ask ourselves some important questions: Is my first and best work done in my home? Is it there that I give the best of my time, energy, creativity, resourcefulness, and love? In all of the many things I do outside my home, do my roots remain in the heart of my home?
In answering these questions, if we find ourselves saying no to any part of them, we need to do an evaluation of the things that consume our time and energy. We in no way want to crowd out the things that are of most importance to us. For many of us, it may be time to let go of some things, in order to have a healthy balance in our everyday lives. And if there is something that is compromising our very health and happiness, it has to go!
I encourage you all to pray and ask the Lord if there is anything you need to release. And for those who just can’t see how it is even possible to let anything go at this time, remember that God is a way maker! Ask Him to bring about the changes that you need to take place. In the meantime, I pray that He will lift the burden of everything that is presently bogging you down. Help us Lord, to find divine order and balance in every part of our lives!
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