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Be His Encourager!

Updated: Jan 2, 2019

The Importance of Encouraging Your Husband


Have you ever met someone who is a real downer? I bet we all have. This is the person you most likely avoid. Isn’t it? I must confess that there is one individual in my life who is that negative person…oh, so negative. And she creates such a negative atmosphere with her words.  A “fault finder” by nature, she tends to always get a few digs in each time we are together. She is full of criticism. Oh, I have learned to not take any of it personally because the truth is that this individual talks negatively about everyone and everything! And I certainly know that this is not someone in my life who will ever get excited for me about anything that I am excited about, or encourage me in any of the many things that I am doing. It’s Ok. I am able to laugh it off and joke a bit about it now…but it wasn’t always that way.


We all need encouragers in our lives. Just one encourager makes all the difference in the world sometimes. But there seems to be plenty of people who will readily put you down and a real shortage of people who will lift you up. Be the one who lifts up!


The truth is, many of us can’t handle very much criticism ourselves, but as women, we sure can dish it out…


As wives, we need to realize just how much we contribute to the atmosphere in our homes and marriages. Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.” In The Path to Becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife, I talk a lot about how we as wives can build our homes, our marriages, and our men. One of the ways we can build our men is through our words.


We expect so much from our husbands but do we ever stop to think about the kind of encouragement that they might need to be the kind of men that we want and need them to be?


In order to walk in their role as our husbands, the leaders and high priests of our homes (along with many other things), they must possess the quality of mind and spirit that enables them to face tough challenges, difficulty, danger, fear, and pain. We had better not tear down our husband’s spirit. Mental and moral strength and confidence is vital if he is ever going to be the kind of man that you need him to be.


“She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.” Proverbs 31:12 AMP


Are you your husband’s encourager? The word encourage comes from the old French word encoragier, meaning to make strong and to hearten.


The word encourage in Proverbs 31:12 translates; to give support, confidence and hope to, uplift, cheer, promote, nurture, and strengthen.


We can be either a great source of encouragement or discouragement in our own homes. 


The word discourage means to “turn away” from courage. There are things that your husband will face that will cause him to want to give up, drop out, throw up his hands and quit. What words have you been speaking leading up to these times? What kind of confidence does he have because of the words that you have spoken to him?


She opens her mouth in skillful and godly wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. Proverbs 31:26 AMP


When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say and she says it kindly. Proverbs 31:26 MSG


The Proverb 31 wife has developed a skill of knowing just what to say. She thinks before she speaks. Her words are wise words. Her tongue isn’t sharp. Her words aren’t cutting. They are kind. Her words have the power to comfort, soothe, and heal. Often her words reassure. Her words are a source of encouragement and strength. With her support, he can accomplish anything!


There are days when your husband needs you to be that comforting, encouraging voice that he comes home to. Is today that day?


Be his encourager.




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I'm thanking you, GOD, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders. I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I'm singing your song, High God. - Psalm 9:1-2